


to lay down, once more

by Elzie (gallaxygay)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (hopefully), Aged-Up Keith (Voltron), Aged-Up Lance (Voltron), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Gay Keith (Voltron), Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Langst, M/M, Marriage Planning, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 11:06:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16533401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallaxygay/pseuds/Elzie
Summary: “I’ll marry you when we get back,” says Lance with a small smile, joking just a bit. “We’ll get married on the beach, or in the forest or in your goddamn hut - I know sometimes you’re a caveman like that.”Keith fixes Lance with a sharp look. “You joking?”Lance shrugs, eyes fixed somewhere off in the distance. “A little,” he says, noncommittally.-to hope is to plan a marriage in the middle of a war. it doesn't seem so out of reach, sometimes.





	1. silence

“I’ll marry you when we get back,” says Lance with a small smile, joking just a bit. “We’ll get married on the beach, or in the forest or in your goddamn hut - I know sometimes you’re a caveman like that.”

Keith fixes Lance with a sharp look. “You joking?”

Lance shrugs, eyes fixed somewhere off in the distance. “A little,” he says, noncommittally.

A small, blue creature approaches the pair and it chirps excitedly at Lance. He lazily extends a hand out in response, fingertips barely brushing the soft fur of the animal. A small sound escapes Lance and the creature chirps again.

Lance blinks at it. It blinks back.

“‘Bout which part?” asks Keith.

Lance turns back towards Keith, just a small movement of his chin. He’s still smiling somewhat vacantly and a little more to himself than to Keith - which, Keith thinks, is alright. He says, “The caveman bit, I think you’d let me have my beach wedding.”

Keith smirks. Feels like laughing. He says, “I could be convinced.”

The creature hops up on to Lance’s chest. Lance winces. It tilts its head at Keith. Lance winces again.

“I’m sorry-” starts Lance. “I don’t -  _Keith_.”

The bird chirps and Lance tries to smile wider. Keith can’t look at the two.

“It’s fine,” says Keith, not looking anywhere and also, not at Lance. “We’ll wear blue and red ties, and your entire family can be there.”

“Cheesy,” Lance huffs. He tangles one hand into the creature’s fur and places the other one on Keith’s knee. Lance’s hands feel feverishly hot. He’s not sweating. “I like it.”

Keith grabs Lance’s hand and holds it hard.

The creature keeps chirping and the wind whistles through the trees and Keith is struck with the thought that this world, wherever and whatever it is, is so remarkably similar to earth that it must pain Lance just to be here.

Keith silently thanks the creature for chirping and the wind for singing because the oppressive silence lives just moments before their feet, and Keith half thinks that should it be allowed to wreak its will upon their world, it would kill both the human and the half-human, and leave them dead with a little blue creature that would probably pick at their intestines.

“Talk to me,” says Keith.

Lance shuts his eyes. “You’ll finally meet my entire family. And my cousins and my sisters and my brothers and my - my, uh, grandmother. And we’ll celebrate and the team will be there. Our family.”

Keith laughs softly. Digs his heels into the soft ground. “Our family?”

“Sure,” says Lance. “Sure, whatever, we’ll call them all family eventually.”

A beat of silence passes.

“Would you want to live on the beach too?”

Lance shakes his head. “No, I know you don’t want that.”

“It’s not always about what I want.”

“Maybe not always.”

“You’ve been missing the beach,” insists Keith, forcefully enough that he touches the future with the tip of his fingers.

“Sure,” says Lance again. “But I’ve lived without it for years. We’ll visit for a vacation.”

“Vacation,” Keith echoes.

The creature sits on Lance’s chest. It becomes a small, blue sphere of quiet noises. Not still and not quiet, but resting - and chirping.

“We could live in the desert, I don’t care.”

“You wouldn’t care?”

“I won’t care,” corrects Lance gently. “I don’t do things - or, I’m not around you just to get back to the ocean.”

“Right,” says Keith, feeling out of his depth. “Okay.”

Lance starts to cough. Coughs and coughs until his lips are stained red with blood. It’s like kool-aid, thinks Keith, blood and cherry kool-aid. The blue creature looks thoroughly unruffled, pushing its head further into Lance’s hand, the one which isn’t stained from muffling bloody coughs, for pets.

Keith feels panic bubbling in the pit of his stomach. He’s cut off and he can’t tell how much longer Lance has but something in Keith resolutely refuses to move, afraid that Lance will cough up his lungs all alone on the forest floor before Keith can become useful. Doesn’t know if he’ll ever be useful enough for Lance again.

He feels so, so deeply afraid.

“That bird is the same colour of your eyes,” blurts out Keith.

Lance slowly opens his eyes, blinking blearily at Keith, then at the creature, resting. He smiles, teeth stained red, “I guess he is.”

“And these trees are like pine trees. And the sky is blue like home.”

Lance’s eyes flick upwards from his place on the ground. He tries for a deep breath - and coughs up more blood in the process. He says, “Sure, feels like home.”

“We could live in a forest. In a cabin. And we’ll have a stone chimney and a garden.”

Keith thinks the blue creature is falling asleep. He feels sick. And Lance takes longer to reply this time, saying, “I knew you’d want something like that. Caveman.”

They both laugh. It’s harder for Lance, though.

Desperation screams for Keith to leave and run and fight the world and time, running out, and to try something else but his fear binds him to Lance’s side, hand in hand, sweating and scared. He’s desperately afraid that Lance is dying and that the blue creature will stop chirping and that the wind will stop blowing and then, Keith will die too. And he’ll die all alone. And in the quiet.

The leaves rustle.

“Keith -”

“No.”

“- I just need to say -”

“ _Lance_.”

“Okay,” he says eventually, eyes flicking over Keith’s face. He searches for something, and perhaps he finds it, because Lance drops the issue.

Keith wants to get married to Lance, eventually. He thinks about it and finds that he wants it all - everything and all of it with Lance and he wants it desperately. And the weight of everything that could be is paralysing. It’s so good and so possible and Keith _wants_ it.

He lays down on the ground beside Lance, and has to smile because the little blue creature perks its head up, chirping noisily in Keith’s face. Lance sighs slightly, amused, as the creature tumbles into the crevice between them, digging its claws into Keith’s arm to crawl up on to his own chest.

Lance starts to cry, then. He’s hiccuping quietly, staring at the sky. He says, “Keith, I feel like I’m dying.”

The wind dies down.

Then Lance says, “I don’t regret it.”

“You should,” says Keith. “I hate this.”

“That’s fine,” replies Lance, quieter now. “I don’t regret it.”

The small, blue creature settles down on Keith’s chest. It has brown eyes, drooping sleepily with every passing second. Keith touches its head. It has soft fur.

“We’ll get married,” says Keith. “We will.”

“Sure,” says Lance, once more. “Kids?”

“If you want,” says Keith.

Lance coughs again, it sounds like it hurts him, and Keith starts to tear up too.

“I do,” whispers Lance. “I really, really do.”

The creature falls asleep. Small and blue and silent.  



	2. it's fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's just a good ending.

Lance heads back to the ship with white hair and blue marks on his cheekbones. 

He leaves behind a puddle of blood. Keith looks at it once and has the horrible thought that Lance should have died. It's fine. It's not fine. Lance lingers on the blood long enough to gingerly pick his gloves out of it. He eyes Keith gingerly and says, "Let's go."

Lance picks up the small, blue creature. It's smaller now, Keith thinks, which is fine. He doesn't understand. It's fine. Lance leaves behind his helmet. It was too damaged anyway. 

They walk through a field of golden grass. The blades are silky, and not much higher than Keith's waist. It feels like walking through threads. Lance clears his throat, "Did you notice my new hair?" 

Keith lets out a surprised peal of laughter. "What the fuck?" he laughs. "I've been staring at you for the past hour." 

"Oh," says Lance. He's grinning something stupid. "Well? You like it?" 

Keith feels like he's probably smiling stupidly too. But he says, "Yeah, yeah. It's nice." 

Lance's eyebrows shoot up. He deepens his voice, gesticulating wildly, "Hi, I'm Keith. I'm a big, bad caveman. The only word I know is  _nice_." 

The creature chirps cheerily at Keith. He glares. "Shut up, man." 

"I don't know," continues Lance. "I just, all I've been thinking about is - fuck, don't laugh - I just feel like me and Shiro are going to match? I just - it's just that he's so  _old_ and I'm a young twink-" 

"Oh my god." 

"-a young boy in my prime. So you see, I really can't afford to lose my charm in the face of age and one beefy man." 

Maybe there's a bit of real insecurity in there but Lance is, primarily, joking and Keith can't help but snort with laughter. Lance breaks down just seconds later. And holding his sides, eyes scrunched shut, Keith forgets that Lance is different now.

In fact, it's just like always.

"You look fine," says Keith. He feels out of breath. "You look good, it's fine." 

Lance's grin softens into something sweeter. "You really know how to butter a boy up, huh?" 

"Sure," a pause. "You wanna tell me how you're still alive? And Altean?" 

Keith glances over as Lance shrugs, a dying smile still resting upon his lips. Lance hesitates and re-hesitates before saying, "I think I did die. I don't really know. I died before, did I tell you about that?" 

Keith feels sick. He feels sick. It feels very, very not-fine. He shakes his head.

"Well, I took a hit for Allura. She had to bring me back. It was while you were gone. Don't like - I can feel you doing it already - don't blame yourself. It's fine. Anyway, either Allura gave me some Altean shit or like, I don't know - I don't really understand the other possibility." 

"Oh," says Keith. 

Lance stops in his tracks. Turns around and sticks his finger into Keith's chest. He says, "I swear to fucking god, Keith. I swear. I can feel your guilt in my toes. I'm like - I'm going to kill you." 

Keith knows that Lance is trying to change the topic, but it's fine. After years, Lance has more than proven to be the best at dragging the team out of dangerous emotional situations, kicking and screaming. So Keith grins, "You'll kill me?" 

"Sure," says Lance. Then, "I don't want to go back. This planet is just so... so nice. I won't have you polluting it with guilt and Keith-angst." 

He watches Lance speak, and for a moment Keith is struck with something painfully fond. He says, "I - fuck, were you serious about marrying me?" 

Lance stops again. His ears are red but he says, "I mean, yeah. Yeah. Of course I was." 

"Okay." 

"I like you a lot, Keith. I love you a lot too. You know that." 

"Yeah. Uh, yeah, me too." 

Lance laughs. "It's fine, Keith." 

And yeah. It's fine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi ! i took a long ass break. school was much too busy. anyway, i haven't watched season 7/8 and don't plan to. but i'm too in love with these characters to stop, i think. regardless, i struggled a lot to come up with a final chapter. i thought about it and why i even wanted to write a second chapter and in the end i realized all i wanted to do was to give a rather bleak piece of work something nice to end on. obviously i have my own timeline that i've set up in my head but like...... idk... i like fics better when they're happy (says i, the person who write primarily writes langst) 
> 
> anyway i hope you enjoyed this, it isn't edited, but please leave kudos/a comment if you enjoyed !! 
> 
> :)

**Author's Note:**

> i'm really proud of this. thanks for reading and please leave a comment if you liked it, or if you'd like to beta for me (don't im a shitty shitty inconsistent writer) 
> 
> i might continue this. i don't particularly like sad endings
> 
> thanks !!!!


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